ids: “…experts in applying brand, consumer and commercial intelligence across a unique portfolio of platforms, channels and sites.”

But can they tackle? Can they dribble? And most importantly can they hit the back of the net?

Our scout sees promise in these young ambitious chaps (as the sales house for Setanta Sports, football is in their blood) but the final line-up shows stiff competition – what do the ids squad have to say for themselves?

1. What famous or professional team are you most reminiscent of?

Scotland 1978. We are small, talented but liable to be hammered by Peru. The crowd pleasers. Fast and jinky and that’s just getting to the bar. If we don’t win we will be the fan favourites.

2. What’s your team’s celebratory drink?

Pint of strong continental lager with an Irn Bru chaser

3. The score’s tied and there are 2 minutes left, what’s your plan?

Boot the ball over the fence and on to the railway track and force the penalty shoot out.

4. Apart from entering The Media Sales Cup, why does your company rock?

We have good health insurance that will cover Friday’s heart attacks, astro turf burns and pulled hammys.

5. Describe your fans and how they’ll show their support:

Due to our lack of fitness our fans are of the traditional electric hand variety. They will support us by blowing cold air into our faces when we are inevitably exhausted.

6. Player to watch and why?

Dan “Longdog” Long. Up there with Lionel Messi for trickery, Alan Shearer for strength and Ronaldo for explosive finishing.

Smooth, confident, courageous and of French origins… are we talking about Zidane?  Cantona?  Deschamps?  Nope, Decaux.

Late entrants and newbies to the 2009 tournament, JCDecaux appear to show a level of promise but only time will tell if the final team in our Outdoor line-up can hold their own against their more experienced competitors.

2008 was Clear Channel’s year – can the JCDecaux team stop the champions doing it again?

1. What famous or professional team are you most reminiscent of?

South Korea in the 2002 World Cup, we want someone to watch us in the Semi’s and think ‘How the f@ck did they get there??’

2. What’s your team’s celebratory drink?

Jaigerbombs mixed with Berocca

3. The score’s tied and there are 2 minutes left, what’s your plan?

To score, preferably off a deflection

4. Apart from entering The Media Sales Cup, why does your company rock?

Apart from the free private health, onsite gym, a beer tap by the printer, 11am – 2pm office hours and the 5th floor doubling up as a strip club?

Just the people.

5. Describe your fans and how they’ll show their support:

Unless there is free alcohol on offer I don’t think you need to worry about building a second tier.

6. Player to watch and why?

Barry Whelan – he’s the missing link

Newsquest Media Group: the 2nd largest regional media group in the UK …so one would think that it shouldn’t be hard to find 7 football players of some reasonable standard.  Our scout reckons that this team could be the dark horse of the competition, hiding behind humour and nonchalance, there was a distinct buzz in the air and it wasn’t the photocopier.

Are the Newsquest boys as passionate about the beautiful game as they are about delivering to their 4,000+ advertisers?

1. What famous or professional team are you most reminiscent of?

You know those charity matches where they get old legends of the game to show they still have it, well……we’re nothing like that.  Our MD (Chris White-Smith) and Head of Sales (Graham Ellis) would like to think we are like Stoke City but surely that means we are just awful players, that rely on our quarter back and lump it forward but on a positive note get the job done.

2. What’s your team’s celebratory drink?

We tend to drink whatever the hospital recommends when we collapse not only from exhaustion but surprise if we actually win.

3. The score’s tied and there are 2 minutes left, what’s your plan?

Play boring and dirty – soak up the pressure and get a break away goal leaving no time for a reply, using our secret weapon – the fat cat.

4. Apart from entering The Media Sales Cup, why does your company rock?

Because we have a very famous ex band member of the Filth.

5. Describe your fans and how they’ll show their support:

They are invisible and will show their support through silence.  As our other fan couldn’t make it as his dog was sick.

6. Player to watch and why?

We all are highly entertaining in a comical sense.  But look out for Crazy Legs Blake Seabrook – if he turns up.  He reckons he can bang goals in for fun – we’ll see and hope it does – but won’t be sticking around to listen to his annoying voice describing his goal.

Last year’s triumphant winners, Clear Channel are looking strong and ready to give the rest of the pack a run for their money.  Will the confident headless chicken strategy do them justice a second year running?

1. What did you learn from last year’s tournament that will help you this year?

Form is temporary…class is permanent.  Having played terribly in the group we went on to win!

2. What’s your team’s celebratory drink?

Pints of lager straight afterwards seemed to be the theme in the photos last year

3. The score’s tied and there are 2 minutes left, what’s your plan?

Game plan never changes regardless of the score…we all continue to run round like headless chickens.

4. Apart from entering The Media Sales Cup, why does your company rock?

We get an hour and a half lunch break….so plenty of time to go to the pub…I mean workout at the gym and talk team tactics.

5. Describe your fans and how they’ll show their support:

We have no fans.  But we do rate ourselves a bit too much so that seems to address the balance.

6. Player to watch and why?

Alan (striker)… He’s had 8 million leg operations but he’ll still score 40 goals.

A solid team last year, but with shaky luck on the day, losing in the Plate final to BBC Magazines – their battle cry was “Remember the Titans!” – will they perform more memorably this year?

1. What did you learn from last year’s tournament that will help you this year?

That asking ringers from other companies to play is a far better strategy than pressurising maybes from here!

2. What’s your team’s celebratory drink?

Champagne out of the cup

3. The score’s tied and there are 2 minutes left, what’s your plan?

[captain] Take myself off and shout loudly at the rest to work harder

4. Apart from entering The Media Sales Cup, why does your company rock?

One word, posters.

5. Describe your fans and how they’ll show their support:

Supportive emails on a Friday explaining their absence

6. Player to watch and why?

One of our ringers… Farhan “coming atcha” Cachra.  Pace, power and a smile that turns any man.

New to this year’s tournament are the self-professed Yahooligans from Yahoo! – confident and courageous it seems – is this an indication of their talent or is it simply because they’ve not met the competition before?

Four of the squad kindly took the time to answer our questions to give you a full picture of what they’re all about…

1. What’s your team’s celebratory drink?

• Snake bite boat race
• Sambuca
• Cassis – Purple and fruity (little like Rich Curtis after a few hours in the sun)
• Absinthe

2. The score’s tied and there are 2 minutes left, what’s your plan?

• Kick lumps out of the opposition
• All out attack!
• Play for the draw. Keep the point in the bag. (or swap the keeper for a striker – in the words of the great Dave Benson Phillips – Run the Risk)
• Fire at will

3. Apart from entering The Media Sales Cup, why does your company rock?

• Great canteen and free soft drinks 24/7!
• We love lamp!
• hmmmm
• Yahooligans in and outside of work.

4. Describe your fans and how they’ll show their support:

• I have an oscillating fan on my desk- it will probably support me by moving from side to side and keeping me cool during the summer months
• All women, pole dance…
• Streakers.  Men, Women and Engineers.
• By playing football drinking games at the side of the pitch…. “Treasure to Padmore… DRINK!”

5. Player to watch and why?

• Me (Lorcan McCoy).  I play prison rules
• Dan Moggs (he will be wearing a mask to protest his fragile face), can’t see him as a footballer, it is going to be hilarious!
• Matt Treasure. The name says it all.
• Richard Curtis… if his performance is anything like the team he supports then viewing should be hilarious

Runners up in the Associated Cup last year, Loot are a 5-a-side team with a proven track record.

They did admit however that this achievement taught them that 7 games in an evening is one too many for people with their fitness levels…

There are 3 new players on the squad this year, will that change everything for the better or for the worse?  Here’s what they have to say:

1. What’s your team’s celebratory drink?

Generally anything we can get our hands on.

2. The score’s tied and there are 2 minutes left, what’s your plan?

Our gaffer’s famous 0-0-4 formation should mean a fantastic spectacle of end to end footy.

3. Apart from entering The Media Sales Cup, why does your company rock?

We’ve been the leading classified paper for over 24 years – we know our stuff.

We’re currently recruiting talent so if you believe your sales skills are equal to or surpass those on the field please feel free to get in touch.

4. Describe your fans and how they’ll show their support:

A strange bunch, who, with it being a Friday will support us by downing lashings of Stella and White Lightning, whilst shouting inane ramblings at the players.

5. Player to watch and why?

Last year’s player of the year Mike has retired, so it could be anyone.  With 3 new players we could be unearthing the next Ronaldo, or alternatively the next Ronald McDonald.

After a bullish pre-tournament stance last year:

May god have mercy, because we won’t…

…the Times Online team were knocked out in the Plate semi-finals by BBC Magazines (3-2), overall scoring only 6 goals during the evening.

This year, the team’s manager Jonny Hill takes a less aggressive stance making us wonder whether this is a cunning tactic to knock the other teams off their guard.

Have the TOL boys have been training in secret for the last 12 months?  Or are they planning to rely on their wit and banter like last year?

1.  What did you learn from last year’s tournament that will help you this year?

As manager I feel that actually going to the tournament would be a good start.  As I was not there last year I feel it hard to answer this question thoroughly.

2.  What’s your team’s celebratory drink?

I hear that my team may have been drinking before the tourney, and I also believe we did not score one goal.  So I hope no-one was celebrating.

3.  The score’s tied and there are 2 minutes left, what’s your plan?

Score an own goal so we don’t have to go to extra time

4. Apart from entering The Media Sales Cup, why does your company rock?

Several reasons:

a) We get 3 hours for lunch
b) We are actively encouraged to take sickies
c) We get massages at our desk on request

5. Describe your fans and how they’ll show their support:

Define “fans”

6. Player to watch and why?

If you want to laugh then just watch any of us

1. What’s your team’s celebratory drink?

Dom Pérignon 1993 vintage

2. The score’s tied and there are 2 minutes left, what’s your plan?

Celebrate that we are still drawing with 2 minutes remaining.

3. Apart from entering The Media Sales Cup, why does your company rock?

The company is growing at a rapid pace and we all work together to ensure that our green credentials and high standards are met. Today we are the industry leader in environmental, charity and membership magazines.

4. Describe your fans and how they’ll show their support:

Distinctly average. They will probably support the team we are playing.

5. Player to watch and why?

Tom ‘I’m amazing at everything I do’ Fountain because apparently he’s amazing at everything he does.  Apparently.

Losing out in the semi-finals to Clear Channel who went on to take the cup; winners of the Penalty Shootout and Top Goalkeeper awards… what do Milkround have to say for themselves?

1.  What did you learn from last year’s tournament that will help you this year?

If we get a penalty, let the penalty king take it, not the star player…

2.  What’s your team’s celebratory drink?

Whatever is cheap and plentiful

3.  The score’s tied and there are 2 minutes left, what’s your plan?

Go all out attack and probably concede

4.  Apart from entering The Media Sales Cup, why does your company rock?

Young, vibrant and up for the fight against the recession.  That and being the official number 1 graduate recruitment website

5.  Describe your fans and how they’ll show their support:

They will show their support by not turning up and embarrassing us

6.  Player to watch and why?

Adam, because he always manages to smash the ball into his own face